new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Bring me that man meat
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
