I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
