i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize