She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
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