ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
