i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
