Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
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