Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
third nipple confirmed
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
