I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
