i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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