No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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