I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
