No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
