she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
