I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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