Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
