i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
