your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
