I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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