YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
please come you make the beer taste better
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
