yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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