The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
