either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
