Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
She announced her abortion via fbk
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
