so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
