Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
There are leaves in my underwear?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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