Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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