your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
