i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
