you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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