i wish my penis had a tongue
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
