Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
