he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
