I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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