pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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