after a month anything with tits is on the radar
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
