I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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