I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
