You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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