WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
