we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
You are the jesus of drinking
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
