no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
