I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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