I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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