We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
