why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
