Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
