well you can't waste a boner
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
