What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize
