I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
