i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I showed him my bush... on skype.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
