Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
It was like giving head to a cactus.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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