so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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