Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize