Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
