So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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