Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
