i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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