someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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