just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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